Emmett in Ireland
by mylittlelilyflower90
Summary: See what happens when Emmett gets drunk in Ireland. Warning: contains very high amounts of Emmett being idiotic and maybe high. We will never know. ALL VAMP


**A/N My first story I wrote be nice!**

**Emmett in Ireland**

"WOO GO IRELAND!"

"Emmett this is the first Irish rugby game you've ever seen why are you so excited?" Edward asked from somewhere on my left.

"Well everyone gets drunk afterward Eddie including you today." I retorted back at him sticking my tongue out childishly.

My wife gave me a hard whack on the head for that remark.

"OW! Rosie!"

"Yes Emmett?" My wife giggled at me.

"I wanna try getting drunk and Jasper here is going to help." I said clapping him on the back.

"I-I am?" He asked nervously, "If this is another Emmett plan..."

Oh no not that again. You see at Christmas my family decided to... well tell me that my plans were kind of stupid. But they weren't. And so from then onwards they called everything that they thought stupid an 'Emmett plan'.

Well I was going to prove them wrong.

"I want everyone to try getting drunk after the match today as an Irish tradition."

Alice burst into hysterical laughter probably seeing the outcome of this and Edward began to chuckle along with her.

"Irish tradition Emmett?" Bella asked giggling "That may just be an old wives tale and besides I don't want Nessie getting drunk." She finished pointing at her daughter.

"And you forgot the fact vampires can't get drunk." Edward continued.

_I bet they could as well but he's just saying that in fact I am going to prove that vampires can get drunk!_

He narrowed his eyes at this.

"ANNNNND THE DANCING LEPRECAUNS WIN!" The commentator shouted to the crowd.

All the hooded figures jumped up and down in the pelting rain as the team did a victory lap.

"Oh I do hope they don't get colds." Esme said in a worried voice.

"Doubt it," Jacob drawled from beside Nessie, "It's not that cold."

"You can't get cold _mutt_." Rose hissed.

Ah that relationship will never change.

"NOWWWWWWW TO THE PUB!" I screamed.

And off we went.

"ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME..."

"Why are they even singing that? It's the middle of July for Gods sake." Alice mumbled staring at her beer mug.

"Ahhhhhhhh Ali their drunk!" I sang back.

"Speaking of being drunk how do you feel Emmett?" Edward smirked at me.

"Quite dizzy actually. And woozy." I replied.

"That might be because you drunken fifteen bottles of beer in." Bella checked her watch, "10 minutes. Impressive. Even for a vampire."

"Thank you little sis." I replied swinging my arm around her shoulders heavily.

"Oooo their doing karaoke you should do it Emmy." Nessie giggled from under her husbands arm.

"Hmmm I think I will small one I think I will." And with that I was off.

"HEY! I'm not that small!" Nessie shouted.

What song should I choose? Hmmm something that describes me perfectly... I got it!

I stepped up to the mike. This was it.

The music began.

And I started to sing.

EPOV

"Hi Barbie!

Hi Ken!

You wanna go for a ride? 

Sure, Ken! 

Jump in! 

Ha ha ha ha! 

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world 

Life in plastic, it's fantastic 

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere 

Imagination, life is your creation 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party 

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world 

Life in plastic, it's fantastic 

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere 

Imagination, life is your creation 

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world 

Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie 

You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain 

Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky 

You can touch, you can play 

You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa 

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world 

Life in plastic, it's fantastic 

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere 

Imagination, life is your creation 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh 

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please 

I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees 

Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again 

Hit the town, fool around, let's go party 

You can touch, you can play 

You can say I'm always yours 

You can touch, you can play 

You can say I'm always yours 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh 

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world 

Life in plastic, it's fantastic 

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere 

Imagination, life is your creation 

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world 

Life in plastic, it's fantastic 

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere 

Imagination, life is your creation 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah 

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh 

- Oh, I'm having so much fun! 

- Well, Barbie, we're just getting started! 

- Oh, I love you Ken!"

_Hmmm I wonder if Rosie liked it_

Oh my god.

He sang it for Rosalie. Was he asking for a death wish?

Bella must have noticed my discomfort as her thoughts came flooding through to my mind.

_Are you ok?_

I sighed and nodded my head and prepared to tell her. But there was no need.

"I DID THAT FOR MY WIFE ROSIE! YOU KNOW THE HOT BLOND OVER THERE! HI ROSIE!" Emmett shouted his words slurring into the next one.

"Maybe we will have to go along with his silly plans after this." Jasper mumbled.

Rosalie however was fuming.

"I really want a divorce right now." She trailed off when she saw Emmett approaching.

"Kids maybe its time we headed out. Esme and I were just talking about a walk along the beach tonight."

"Yes let's go now." Rose said standing up quickly.

"But Rose-a-lieeeee the party's only just started. Pleaseeeeeeeee can with stay with a cherry on top?"

"No Emmett now lets move." Emmett sighed and started to tell everyone he'll never forget them.

"He'll be in their nightmares tonight." Jacob murmured to Nessie.

"Isn't this beautiful?" My sweet wife asked from my arms.

The moonlit beach was perfect and empty with the sea lapping against the cliff.

"Not as beautiful as you though, love." I whispered back.

"Has anyone seen Emmett?" Rose asked.

"I think he went into that bush mumbling about his stomach." Jasper replied.

"I'm fine guys," He called. "Who's up for a midnight swim?"

"Nobody Em why?" Bella called.

"Cause I feel likeeeeeeeee SKINNY DIPPING!"

"COVER YOUR EYES!" Alice shrieked.

A massive splash was heard below.

"I don't think vampires can get drunk but I think Emmett's high on drugs." Rose murmured.

"Steroids?" Jasper asked.

"NOW THEY ARE SOME IDEAS THANKS GUYS!" Emmett shouted at us.

"Uh oh..."

**A/N Classic stupid Emmett. My favorite kind of him.**


End file.
